Our Conversion Story: Part 2: The Tallahassee Years

This is Part 2 of our Conversion Story. If you missed it, you can find Part 1 here.

            Motivated by our new sense of urgency for the Gospel, a love of prayer, and a desire to share both with Tallahassee, we left Indiana. The end goal was for Mark to get a degree which would allow us to teach as a way into ministry in China (the country we dreamers were in love with at the time). Choosing Tallahassee allowed Mark to spend some final time in his hometown after leaving it suddenly three years before.

            Tallahassee was difficult for both of us to say the least and I am not only speaking about our hatred of humidity and poor relationships with the sun and heat. Our time appeared to begin with promise. Despite all warnings of the difficulty to do so, I secured a teaching job through miraculous intervention. However, this teaching job was at possibly the worst school with the worst principal and as I started teaching late, I received as welcome gift any student who had had behavioral problems assigned to my class. I loved the children dearly but it made for a rather difficult first year of teaching. Let’s just say that a teaching degree from Wyoming did not prepare me for an inner city Florida classroom! Mark after being unable to find work elsewhere ended up at Chick-fil-a. To him, this felt a step backwards. He had left Tallahassee with dreams of going to school in Montana only to return three years later and work in the same job he had before he left. Having left ministry with barely enough to break even, we had to spend the first five months living with Mark’s family. It was hardly a triumphal entry or even first year. Our dreams faded as hopes placed in worldly situations and events failed to come to fruition. The location had changed, the jobs had changed, but the answers had not.

Our church search, as we called it, was equally tiring. Still refusing to consider any mainline denomination, for the opinion that all were corrupt, we could not find a church. During this time, we tried around twenty different churches. Some only for a Sunday and some for a few weeks. They ranged in their beliefs and approaches to worship for we were truly open to anything (so long as it was roughly Baptist or non-denominational). No matter where we went, there was no peace. Yet, it concerned us even more that there would be so many churches that one could effectively church shop for eight months (and a good deal longer for twenty was barely scratching the surface) and still not find a “home.” Where was the unity of the Church that Jesus and Paul called for again and again? What has happened to us as Christ followers that we have become so divided and so divisive? Why was it that we saw other Christians accepting of non-Christians with open arms but spouting such hatred of any Christian who believed differently than them? We began to question this process of finding a church at all. However for that time, these remained questions alone. We were unsure how they should affect our lives.

After about eight months, we returned to a Christian and Missionary Alliance Church that we had visited along the way and decided that it would do. We figured that the best thing at that point would be for us to just pick a good one and set up shop so to speak. We spent the next ten months immersing ourselves in the church believing it of utmost importance to both serve and have fellowship with a body of believers. We helped with everything from Vacation Bible School to leading collegiate ministry. We joined a small group with several other couples. We attended church and Sunday school every Sunday. Mark was even taken under the wing of the pastor and began to look at an alternative way to become ordained in the CMA churches through personal study. Our plans shifted from foreign ministry to serving here in the states and to reaching the internationals that are coming to our doorsteps. Yet, through it all, we still had the nagging feeling that it was not quite right.

During this time, we had friends invite us to a house church prayer meeting. The fellowship, the intensity of the prayer, and the dedication to following the Lord were beautiful. It was unlike anything we had seen or experienced in a traditional setting. However, we did not leave the CMA church at that time. We began to participate in the weekly prayer meetings while serving and attending the church as well. We believed that if a church could better incorporate these ideals of deep fellowship, prayer, and surrender of your lives to the Lord than all problems would be solved.

As time passed, we realized that if Mark wanted to be a pastor, he should follow a more traditional path of a bachelor’s degree then seminary. When FSU turned down Mark’s application, we began to consider our options. After prayer, Mark felt led to try applying to the University of Wyoming to finish his bachelor’s. When he was accepted, our decision was made. I would finish the fall semester teaching and we would leave in December for Mark to start Spring Semester. Coincidentally, the pastor who had mentored Mark was led away from Tallahassee during this same time period confirming to us our decision to move on both in Mark’s career and then, in worship.

As our time in Tallahassee drew to a close, a series of events led us to commit to the house church/home fellowship. The home fellowship was modeled after the passages in the New Testament describing the early church. It was the church at its simplest (so we then came to believe) for there was no one salaried, no building to care for, and no pastor just men who took turns leading. We met in a home singing worship songs, discussing the Bible, and praying together. It was a wonderful time. The experience changed our views of church completely in only a few short months. During this time, we decided that when we arrived in Laramie, we would look for a house church or start one if none existed. Quickly after this decision, seminary could no longer be a thought as at that time, we grew to believe that organized church was not Biblical. Mark would get a degree and then a job like everyone else.

Looking back, it is quite amazing that we struggled so much in finding a church and in the end, found a house one (an approach both of us had long thought a bit weird). We have been to nearly every church possible (now). At the time, we had explored everything that the Baptist and non-denominational churches offered and then found ourselves meeting with Christians in a home. It would be some time yet before we would consider a denomination or Catholicism but this was the beginning. It was as if God needed to show us everything from the highly charismatic to the strict Southern Baptist to the emerging church. Or rather, it was as if we had needed it. We examined. We prayed. We searched the scriptures for anything and everything that mentioned the world “church.” We read book after book. Over time perhaps we will explain bits of this in more detail. Much will come out as well when Mark discusses different theological questions and aspects.

Beyond our thoughts on church, what one must know about our decision to return to Laramie is the further disappointment. We had helped with the collegiate ministry at a church and spent time teaching students how to study God’s word. I was able to teach in a difficult school and shine a light for the students and teachers there. We were able to live with friends and family sharing the gospel with our lives. Mark was able to spend a final period of time in his hometown. Yet, again, we survived not thrived. And although those sound like great things, the difficulties of my teaching job, Mark’s work, searching for a church only to have to settle, and countless numbers of unanswered hopes, dreams, and prayers far outweighed them. It was as if God gave us enough to keep going, to keep searching as He continued to slowly remove our “army.” In the end, we came away disappointed for God did not do the "great and amazing" things that we had prayed for and expected in Tallahassee. We came away stripped of expectations, beliefs, and much of ourselves.
The Wyoming transition did not carry with it the hope that God would show up powerfully, answer our prayers, or grant our desires. We went to Wyoming with our tails between our legs. Questioning if we were ever meant to leave the state in the first place and what the purpose of the last three years had been. When you are in the midst of the pain and the confusion, purpose is often the hardest thing to see. Laramie for us was going as backwards as one can go. We no longer had dreams of moving overseas or leading successful ministries. With the idea that one could not be paid by the church in our minds, Mark’s dream of serving God full time in any capacity, one he had had since 18, was not an option. I was burnt out on teaching from my Florida job and decided to try the opposite, engineering, in the hopes of finding a different path. We still talked of serving God somehow, someway. We hoped that He might use us but gone were the fervor and the enthusiasm. We clung only to the thought that one day God would show us His face again.

Tune in Sunday for the conclusion of the series, Our Conversion Story: Part 3: The Wyoming Years.